To You my God

Tired. Really tiring. Exhaustive.

But if there's one, only one, who is willing to listen, willing to hear Your word, willing to open themselves up to You Lord,

there i'll be. I will preach and declare of Your wonderful name.

A lot of things happen without us know the reason why. We ask...and we ask..and the thing is, the answers will never come. Even if it does, we will never fully comprehend the extend of why it happened in that manner. Then we ask why again.

Life has many questions. Most of the time we don't know why. The problem starts when we expect God to answer every single question to us.

It has not been easy. Sometimes it feels the point of no return has been crossed. To put into a more crude way, im screwed.

Then Dr. Ar Bernard, a representative of Jesus Christ told me, God is die-hard committed to me.

Ian Chong, an agent for Jesus Christ told me that God's volume of love for me is beyond human comprehension.

Pastor Tan, a servant for Jesus Christ, told me that God is loving Master, Father, eveready to come to our rescue.

God, keep me. I am crying out to you for mercy. You. It is You. All about You. Remember that time...? Let's do it again okay? Without You, let's give up. Let's do it again okay Lord? Im so far from perfect, but my plea...is for You to take that spec of good in me and work on it...

My heart beat very fast today.

When my skin wrinkle. When i need strength to even get out of bed. When i need to take rest when walking. When my eyes grow weary. When i need extra effort when breathe. When i can't do as much as use to be able to. When i am old.



I want to exalt your name even more.

Who am I Lord without You Lord...?

thank You...

You know God....

I've never trusted You so much in my life before..

Career, relationships, finance, faith..many more

But i remember.

And i will testify.

God's fault

CNY, Spectated the side of human beings in the midst of laughter and merrymaking.

On disappointments:

You walk and you hear and witness, of death and divorce, of still birth to abortion, of sickness and to pain that knows no cure, from retardation of the mind to suicides, to hatred of husbands towards wife and of children who curse their parents.

As ugly as it may seem, non of them is more revolting than this : Blaming God for it


" We turned our backs on Him and looked the other way...." Isaiah 53:3

yet. again and again. He awaits. He endures. He loves.

Eggy

OK. This is a special request by my sis. Demanded that i must blog about this. So here goes.

This is.........EGGY!!

HAHhaAHa. yes. Eggy's the name. Eggy is 23 years old this year. Yes he is as old as me. It was my one-year-old birthday present from one of my aunt. Little adrian use to hug it to sleep. *audience: Awwwwwwwwww*

Look at the butt. Amazing little back pocket. Goodness.

I Just......hmmmmm.... :)

And I saw...

7.43 a.m. A normal day. I was on the bus, on the way to work. An uncle with a half bald head was struggling to keep his newspaper intact from movement of the bus. An indian lady was talking over her bluetooth. I was bored. And extremely sleepy. Eyes were struggling to open *they were actually closed*. Then i decided to have a little chat with Him.

As my upper lips parted from the bottom rest, the sun pierced through the window of the bus. So very strongly that it was almost blinding. I cant open my eyes and while my eyelids were sealed, all i see was burning red white of the sun glow on my eyelids.

Then i Saw. I saw a Great arena. There were millions of people gathering. Getting into their place. They greeted each other with such refined grace and some were adjusting the robes of others to make sure that it was all perfectly suited. The smiles of expectations were of utmost Joy. Their gleaming eyes speak of something amazing which was about to happen.

Then a deafening yet glorious sound trembled across all the areas. And all bowed instantaneously. And in the middle was a throne. It started to glow brighter and brighter and brighter as time passed. To the extent that everybody was basking in the presence of glorious love.

And then it happened. Music. It started with such an impeccable tune. I saw thousands of drummers all set up in the far left wing of the arena...and there were great guitarists as far as the eyes can see...and the frames of the drums and guitars and the other musical instruments were not in solid form but were of liquid white gold.....u can actually see the viscous flow of it...There were a few other intruments that i cannot possibly name because i don't think it even exists on earth. And there were 3 singers in the middle. The lead vocalist was a girl and behind her were 2 men. I couldnt hear what they were singing though...hmmm


Then the praise started...and it started off slow...and with a rising crescendo....until a point where the melodious tunes echoed in all ears and hearts....and then from one corner...people started to clap..not like tap tap tap...but they clapped as if they have trained their whole life to clap on this particular occasion...and the tunes become loud yet not deafening...and to my surprise...He started to clap along to the music...the glow turned from bright yellow to gold white...and it exploded with joy and holy presence..

Then above the shining throne ...there were things hovering in the air..i didnt see that one clearly....but they were flying and they were praising and throwing graffiti of rose petals. Really fresh and full petals...those which had no blemish and no browning. And the whole arena was filled with sweet smell of red rose petals. And i saw an old lady lifting her head up and let the petals fall like rain upon her face.

And i saw people dancing and their dance was of heavenly standard. Glorious. Splendid graceful moves that exhibited great postures and coherence. Those which was danced FOR Him and not for themselves. Every move shows blessings to the Throned One... And the cutest thing was there were kids dancing in one corner. laughing and rolling on the floor having fun. hahahaaha.



and then my bus came to a stop. It was my bus stop. Alighted the bus...dazed with amazement.

Easter 2008

When I was young, Easter basically didn't mean anything to me at all. Dad and mum didnt have much idea what it was except that its a Holiday. So i "celebrated" Easter in the aspect of being able to sleep late, hang out with friends and doing things that you would usually do during a one-day-holiday. Thus, ironically, a lot of people celebrate Easter then. We even have an island called Easter island where tourists boast about their unforgetable experience with the "You-Dum-Dum!" monumental statues.

Easter. Hmm maybe im not gonna define what it means. But let me tell you what i do on easter.


I thank God for Such a day, where i can live again. I thank God for the ability to feel the supreme Joy that He so freely Gives.
I shout praises on Easter. I jump and i dance as if nobody is looking. I punch the air in victory. I give my thunderous applause to Him. All purely out of a grace-given, love-centred, intimate relationship that conglomerates to the highest exuberance of joy in me. The question that i would like to post is....would it be possible for someone to do all that based solely upon logical truths and self-proclaimed of personal strong beliefs?

No.

~For I loved you so much, that I am willing to sacrifice the most important thing in My life, so that you would be able to experience My love for eternity. To give you Hope and not despair. To give you life and life more abundantly. Abide in me and I will cause your life to be as fresh and serene as green pastures. When you are weak I will be your strength. This time when you cry, your tears will not be wasted on hard grounds but will land on my palms for I keep every single drop of them~

My Jehovah

My heart give thanks to You O'lord for this relationship with You,
This walk with You which is based upon the very foundation of Your Love,
So selfishly You gave and You gave,
So willingly You sacrificed for me,
Who am i O'lord to receive all this?
You promised to give me life and life more abundantly,
Till today, i still find no flaw and fault in this blameless covenent of Yours,
One thing i ask of You is to be in Your house all of my days,
Break my heart for what break Yours,
The power of Your love...
The mercy kindness that You poured upon me,
The relevance of Your grace that overwhelmingly brings me great joy,
Thank You O'Lord for everything. Everything.
Hold my hands as i walk this path of constant change.
Pat my back when i am weary,
Rain strength into my life when i am dry,
Blow peace into me when i am distracted,
Most of all show me more of Your love for i can't seem to get enough of...

You did it again today.

Oh God, today you spoke to me again and.... i just can't do anything but stand in awe of You...

Goodness..

*Joy Joy*

Ah....Christmas at last.

Dear God. I thank you for all the wonderful things that you have done for me, my family and friends.

Thank you for your undying and unfailing love.

To dearest ma..pa...and sis and bro...Have a blessed Christmas.

From Adrian to everyone i know...A merry merry Christmas to you all.

"The virgin will be with child and will give birth to a son, and they will call him Immanuel"-which means, "God with us."
Matthew 1:23

Mocha Praline. Xmas special 2007.
Went into Starbucks and it called on to me. Topped with whipcream and a spiraling chocolate syrup.
Sat down and made myself comfortable.
Had my first sip 2 minutes later.
Amazing i tiao uuuuuuuu
The cool whip cream served as a smooth sweetener to the roof of my mouth while the flow of the rich hot mocha caressed my toungue and made love to the taste buds!
Towards the end of the drink...the chocolate syrup blended splendidly with the now more concentrated mocha and gave more oomph to this sensation..
splendid choice adrian.

OH MY GOODNESS.
okay. There are very few cartoons/animations that could really flutter my heart, tickle my bones, bring me to kiddo-ness and make me walk out of the cinema like a small boy again, smilling gleefully and humming to the soundtrack of the movie. One was Happy Feet. yes. and this time AlViN aNd tHe ChIpMuNkS!

Why i like the last pic? HmMm its a perfect resemblance to what i look like when it comes to food *g r i n s*

He closes the door. It closed with a slow thud. He walks slowly towards the coat hanger and removes slowly his coat. Hangs It there. Drops of rain could still be seen on the sleeves. He then walks towards the mini bar. Made a drink of hot chocolate. The aircon runs at a comforting 26 degrees Celsius. A black leather sofa made for extreme comfort awaits him. He brings along his favourite crystal glass that contains his drink towards the chair. He slumps into the chair and put his drink down. On his right is the view from his room, overlooking the whole city at night. He then reached for the music player controller situated on the mini elegantly carved teakwood sidetable he had bought not so long ago. Pressed play…





...and the slow song started with the smoothing and enchanting rhythm of the notes…and the slow jazz came along…he took a sip on his chocolate and glances out into the wide panel viewing window. The thousands of streetlamps dazzled like yellow diamonds. The room was dimly lit. And the music lingers. His palms warmed up as he stretches his leg. Shoes removed and his feet rub against the warmth of the specially woven wool carpet underneath. His fingers tapped on the sofa’s handrest …to the melody the eardrums sways to…

Have been terribly busy. As i walk through this path, let me not forget the purpose You have for me. Let me be still and know that You are God. As i undergo persecutions and false accusations, i forgive. Be there for me i pray and do not pass me by. When i am immersed in my work and duties, give me wisdom to set time for You. With this, i sing this song to You.







I see the King of Glory
Coming down the clouds with fire
The whole earth shakes, the whole earth shakes


I see His Love and mercy,
washing over all our sins
The people sing, the people sing,

Hosanna, Hosanna
Hosanna in the Highest

I see a generation,
Rising up to take their place,
With selfless faith, with selfless faith,

I see a near revival,
stirring as we pray and sing,
we're on our knees, we're on our knees,

Heal my heart and make it clean...
Open up my eyes to the things unseen...
Show me how to love, like you have loved me...
Break my heart for what break yours...
Everything i have for your kingdom's cause
As i walk from earth into eternity...

A glimpse of ray shone between two emptiness. Grace given to a meeting where blossoming seed gave cessation to unnecessary hiatus. Grasped a grainful of sand in the initial conundrum. Letting the air swift freely upon the palms of the left hand. Walked the run, crawled the walk, sat the crawl. A pinch of fragrant dew dwelled upon the air. Catched it and kept in my inner coat wallet. Saved it for a dearth torrential drystorm. Twined the strings into a straight band of lifeline. The presence amiable, but given a choice was never ordained. The lingering thoughts of wining pebbled roads goes unpaved as it continues. Saturated. The skin boiled, serenading towards mouthfuls of façade. The ears waxed itself.

Rewind.

Seconds and minutes remained in prison. Hope instilled itself unknowingly. Words became offenders in each other’s terrain. I stood on. My legs lifted my ankles but the soul remained earthed. Gushing towards the light was all it seems. Given a choice to choose but choices was against authority. Bedazzled. Harshly. Walked along the shore of faith. Washed away by the waves as my feet disappear into the sands.

Now. Was there a past? Vague. A smell of fresh chamomile. The impair may found its comfort among the muddling pool. Although pressing against conscious’ avidness…. The summon of all it was never lost. The string still hooked to my last finger. It just never fails. What was promised became a covenant. The greatest commandment reignited. Hands clutched together near the heart, seeking a channel through the continuum of space, something higher than sense.

A smile.

I was standing in line waiting for my turn. In front of me stood a father and he was carrying his toddler baby girl in which I suppose was around 2 years old. Cute little girl with soft dark hazelnut colour hair and big round brownie eyes. Her chin was rested on her father’s shoulder and she was half asleep. Her eyes were so sleepy, with the eyelids closing…and open again…then close…then opened again. Adorable I must say. And I realized I was standing a bit too close to them when suddenly the little girl took stare at me, straight, eyeball to eyeball. It was as if she was expecting something from me. It was a long day for me and I was basically just too tired to even do anything and for a while I was looking at her I didn’t know what to do. She continued staring and I was a bit confused….like hey little girl…go back to sleep ya…but she continued staring at me as if she was waiting something from me…..i was afraid that she might cry.

And then, even though I was just too exhausted to even think…and fatigue just creeping all over my body….i gave her a smile. A twitch on my face muscle. A smile. Suddenly her eyeballs opened wider…she lifted her head up higher from her father’s shoulder and she was no longer sleepy. Then something spectacular happened. She gave me the sweetest smile I think she could possibly give and I can see the joy in her face and as she chuckled, she said hie to me using her 5 little baby fingers, as if she was grasping something.

Little girl, thank you. When you grow up, I hope that you can still smile to the simple pleasures of life.

Circumstance

There was once when i was lying on my bed… I was wondering about my God. I tried to understand what he was doing in my life. I tried to comprehend the plans he has for me and I tried to grasp the concept of the way and extent He is reaching into my life. I tried to figure out the way He works. I had my full thinking gear on…and I thought and I thought…and I at the end of it….the closest answer that I could ever wonderfully realize was………………..Love.

For a while I was startled. I was taken aback. But at the same time I realized that it was not just an emotional encounter with Him. But it actually made sense for the very first time. There, I realized the circumstances in which I’m in may not be that joyful. BUT the PURPOSE of His works which leads to this circumstance is just an awfully and an amazing remarkable expression of God’s love for me as well as for the people around me! If there was a name to His plan, it would be God’s love for __your name__

Everything that happened was a plan. A plan by His love. And I’m glad that I was in it.

Jeremiah 29:11 “For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future”.

"The things that God would do just to tell you how much He loves you..."

A letter to 12-year-old-me

HEY! Err Adrian ar. Adrian here la. Wah this is the first time it makes sense talking to you…err…myself. Allrite. Im writing this to tell you a brief description about your life in the future cos now I’m 22 years old. Yes the 22 year old you! Nevermind..nevermind dun panic…they have this technology already la 10 years later. Its called e-mail. Hahahahhahaa. Just jokin.

Okay first of all you will look back and find that curly wavy hair that you are having are fantastically cool man. I know, I know…you kinda dislike it now but dun worry bout it. I’ll give you a glimpse of wat u look like 10 years later. There:






not bad la hor so dun worry so much. BWAHAHAHHahahahahahhHAHA. Just pulling your leg. You look more like this when you are 22:



Okok I know you are starting to think that this is a prank letter or something. Allrite let me get to it.

First of all, I want to congratulate you for accepting Christ as your saviour, your best friend, mentor and father. It has been 10 years and let me tell you, never once have I regretted knowing God in such intimacy. I know you are afraid that daddy and mummy might find out and get angry but let me assure you…God will protect you and never let you down. Never. You better believe it or else I would be lying to myself. Hahaha. You will one day thank God for all the wonderful things that he has done to your life. And when I say wonderful, it is not always like giving a lollypop to a child, the child sucks it and smiles because it tastes nice. Sometimes things had to be difficult because God’s teaching is not always spoon-fed. But every time I learn something out from the circumstances that He almighty has given me. And I really thank Him for that. I’m sure you will understand more as you grow older but trust in Him alrite.

If im not mistaken, you are in standard 6 right now. And dad and mum might be having abit of financial difficulties. I know its tough and sometimes you feel really pressured. But don’t worry too much ok. I know you have been praying and I want to tell you that God hears you and things will turn out to be fine. School shouldn’t be much of a problem for you cos I know you are driven. UPSR is coming up right? Just wanna tell you that you don’t have to compare yourself to other people, academically. But as smart as you can get, you know pretty well that certain things are out of your control and you will just have to surrender to God. Let Him take care of it.

On the lighter side, be careful when going out alone to play soccer. The bicycle belt is not working properly and it may jam up one day. Don’t cycle too fast la aiyoh…you think u ghost rider isit…Enjoy hanging around with alex and Kenny because you guys will go to different places one day and will only get to see each other very seldom. And when you are in secondary school d, please go bug mum to let u learn drums. You may think I’m crazy but seriously you will enjoy it. Forget guitars, your fingers aren’t made for em.

Along the way, you will meet people who are nice and of course people who just want you to be around them for the sake of what you can do for them. Just want to tell you that no matter how bad a person is treating you, don’t hate them…hate what they do.

Hey Adrian junior, you take care of mum and dad alrite. And give sister back her freakin ribbons la!

Continue your walk with God and one last thing…you will meet someone special in the future…You will know its her hor when you hear her say “can die” a lot a lot of times. hahahahahahha.

You take care. Got to go, chiao.


Love,

Big-you!

The Simpsons

whhuuuuuaaaattt?? I can't hear you!!! YESSSSSSSS i know u want to watch this also! hahaahhaahhahahaha. Guys guys...be patient for my next posting k. Have been terribly busy with exams and all..haha...well but everything's cool...cool..cant wait till this friday though!

Photographs.

Hi ya'll. These are the prints that i have done over the semester in the School of Arts, Design and Media. It has been a very enriching experience and if you were to ask me whether this subject is worth taking, i'll say...Just take it and you'll know what i mean! Its really fun and the teacher is way cool la. chris yap's the name. (hahah cher...i promote u abit la hor) check out the link. http://www.chrisyapphotography.com. There will be an exhibition in the School from next week onwards i guess...haha. I know some of you have approached me to buy these prints. I'm sorry to tell you that these prints are not for sale as they are personal photos. Thanks anyways. *cheese*

*thanks laynne for your artistic role in the development of these photos. hurhurhur.*

Fun FACTS.

These are the quotes of some famouse people which I felt are rather intriguing, since their mind has been involved in the accomplishment of great and substantial laws and theories in which the realm of engineering, medicine, art, business, humanities, politics etc revolves our world today. I was just wondering, if these people could have said all these words which was recorded in the books of history, do we have a better explanation, argument or means to say, well, I shall live your lives and change the words that you have said.


According to Oxford dictionary, the word “Atheist” means:
1. n. One who denies or disbelieves the existence of a God.

“We don’t know a millionth of one percent about anything. Indeed we still don’t know what 90% of the universe is made of. What is gravity? What are the fundamental particles of matter such as electrons, quarks, protons composed of? What is energy? Why is it a gram of rose petals contains an identical amount of energy as a gram of uranium? We don’t even know how these things work alone why. It certainly therefore takes faith to be an atheist.
-Thomas Edison-

I can see how it might be possible for a man to look down upon the earth and be an atheist, but I cannot conceive how he would look up into the heavens and say there is no God.
-Abraham Lincoln-

An honest man, armed with all the knowledge available to us now, could only state that in some sense, the origin of life appears at the moment to be almost a miracle, so many are the conditions which would have to be satisfied to get it going.

-Francis Crick, Nobel Prize winner and co-discoverer of DNA structure-


This most beautiful system of the sun, planets and comets could only proceed from the counsel and domain of an intelligent and powerful Being.
-Sir Isaac Newton, mathematician-


We are in a position of a little child entering a huge library filled with books in many different languages. The child knows someone must have written those books. It does now know how. It does not understand the languages in which they are written. The child dimly suspects a mysterious order in the arrangement of the books but doesn’t know what it is. That seems to me, is the attitude of even the most intelligent being toward God. We see a universe marvelously arranged and obeying certain laws, but only dimly understand those laws. Our limited minds cannot grasp the mysterious force that moves the constellations.
-Albert Einstein-

I want to know how God created this world. I am not interested in this or that phenomenon, in the spectrum of this or that element. I want to know His thoughts; the rest are details.
-Albert Einstein-

Gravitation is not responsible for people falling in love.
-Albert Einstein-

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“ Ah!,” a skeptical student questioned, “Is there not too much evil in the world to be a God?”

“But, surely,” said Zacharias, “When you use the term “evil” you are pre-supposing good and if there is objective good then there must be a moral law to reflect this. But when you admit there is a moral law, then you must admit a moral law giver- but then that’s what you are trying to disprove and not prove!

So, if there is no law giver, then there is no good or evil- so what is your meaningless questions?”

-Author and speaker, Ravi Zacharias speaking at a forum on a university campus and recounts the challenge he was given by a student-


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This is really a great answer to a question you may be asked or have asked. Did God create everything that exists? Does evil exist? Did God create evil?
A University professor at a well known institution of higher learning challenged his students with this question. "Did God create everything that exists?"

A student bravely replied "Yes, He did".

"God created everything?" the professor asked.

"Yessir, He certainly did," the student replied.

The professor answered, "If God created everything, then God created evil. And since evil exists, and according to the principal that our works define who we are, then we can assume God is evil."
The student became quiet and did not answer the professor's hypothetical definition. The professor,quite pleased with himself, boasted to the students that he had proven once more that the Christian faith was a myth.

Another student raised his hand and said, "May I ask you a question, professor?"

"Of course",replied the professor.
The student stood up and asked, "Professor, does cold exist?"

"What kind of a question is this? Of course it exists.Have you never been cold?" The other students
snickered at the young man's question.

The young man replied, "In fact sir, cold does not exist. According to the laws of physics, what we
consider cold is in reality the absence of heat.Every body, or object, is susceptible to study when
it has or transmits energy, and heat is what makes a body, or matter, have or transmit energy. Hence,absolute zero (-460 F) is the total absence of heat;and all matter becomes inert and incapable of reaction at that temperature. Cold does not exist.We have created this word to describe how we feel if we have no heat.

The student continued,"Professor, does darkness exist?"

The professor responded, "Of course it does."

The student replied, "Once again you are wrong sir, darkness does not exist either.Darkness is in reality the absence of light. Light we can study, but not darkness. In fact we can use Newton's prism to break white light into many colors and study the various wavelengths of each color. You cannot measure darkness. A simple ray of light can break into a world of darkness and illuminate it. How can you know how dark a certain space is? You measure the amount of light present. Isn't this correct? Darkness is a term used by man to describe what happens when there is no light present."

Finally the young man asked the professor, "Sir does evil exist?"

Now uncertain, the professor responded, "Of course, as I have already said, we see it everyday. It is in the daily examples of man's inhumanity to man. It is in the multitude of crime and violence everywhere in the world. These manifestations are nothing else but evil.

To this the student replied, "Evil does not exist, sir,or at least it does not exist unto itself. Evil is
simply the absence of God. It is just like darkness and cold, a word that man has created to describe the absence of God. God did not create evil. Evil is the result of what happens when man does not have God's love present in his heart. It's like the cold that comes when there is no heat, or the darkness that comes when there is no light."
The professor sat down.
The young man credited with this answer was none other than Albert Einstein.

Cheh......i oso can..............NOT!!!!

This one u see d hor, u need to follow these few steps:
1) Breathe
2) Calm down
3) Tell yourself that it is okay. You just need err...say....50 years of practise to reach that stage?
4) Breathe again
5) Probably the idea of camera trick went across your mind. Snap out of it. Accept the truth that it is real.

my pErformancE

My very first performance. Not very good but no major mistakes either. satisfied. Played 3 songs.
1--Give me Novicaine--Greenday
2--Smells like teen spirit--Nirvana
3--Faith--Limp Bizkit
Didn't really like the song choices though. taking this performance as an experience and a training.
Rock on sia....

My art work ~Black & White Photography~

MRT track


































School Building



















Jurong Mrt






















Who's shooting who.
























Priceless











Happy year 2007. Yes i know it has been a while since i last posted. So many things have happened that i just can't say it all here. Let me talk using photos. This photos are my artwork from a course called Digital Darkroom from the School of Arts, Media ans Design. PLease do leave a comment about my pictures. Will really appreciate honest comments. Enjoy. Art.

A merry merry merry merry joyous and lovely Christmas!

Christmas is coming. And this year is going to be a special Christmas. yupz.

A merry merry Christmas to all you out there. :)

~**A song for |You|**~

Happy Birthday to You

On the day you were born, you were given the opportunity to experience life,
Life filled with pain, love, happiness, sorrow, hatred, longing, confusion, ecstasy, fervor, joy,...

But to all that, as tumultuous as it may be and With the gift of discernment, you treaded on a path less taken.

With angels rejoicing, i thank God that you have so many people who cared for you so much. Though it may not be perfect, the way you turned out to be was a blessing to others.

Therefore, on this 26th of November, i, together with God in hand, express my joy and Hope for you to continue growing into a beautiful tree filled with fruits of kindness, righteousness and love.

May the wings of a million doves carry you high up on this special day.

Happy Birthday and God bless you.

Coolness!